Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
