Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
