I puked a lego.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Im part way to drunk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
