her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
