All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
