Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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