i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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