we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
