Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize