So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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