Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
