Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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