The maid of honor just puked.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
