then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
