i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
