can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
