you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
