Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
