his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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