I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
