my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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