well you can't waste a boner
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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