all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
