I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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