i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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