I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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