How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Acid is not a monday night drug
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize