Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
