i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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