feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
