dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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