he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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