it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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