never play flip cup with pint glasses
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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