Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
