The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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