I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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