You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
