Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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