im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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