he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
