what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
