Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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