So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
