You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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