Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
