Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
