Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize