If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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