I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize