the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
