i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
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masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
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He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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