I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
