When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
