I faked an abortion last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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