a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
