She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
