I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Shame - the story of my life.
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