Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
